The 2 Most Important Secrets For Having Fulfilled Sexuality
1. Start with yourself
In my training to become a certified Sexological Bodyworker, one of our tasks was to masturbate 30 minutes a day for 30 days.
At that time, my masturbation practice was very irregular. If I did it at all, it took me very little time. Just to try and relax quickly, like I was used to doing it for decades.
And now 30 minutes! This appeared very long to me and I was afraid that it would not be normal.
In my conversations with the other students I saw that they had the same concern. Good to see, I obviously was normal! Everyone else masturbated with the same pattern they had learned in childhood or adolescence without using a lot of variety. I was relieved that most of the others also were fast in their practice.
Duteous as I am, I wanted to accomplish this task properly. After all, I was doing this training not only to gain the certificate but also for self-development and improvement. Luckily they provided us with some practical examples.
I can tell you, at the beginning it felt quite weird to watch myself in a solo-loving session in front of the mirror…
But gradually I started to enjoy trying different things: I played with positions, places, mirrors, toys, intensity and pace. By doing so, I learned to know my body quite well. I realized which touches were extra good. Suddenly orgasm was not a goal any more, rather a kind of “expedition“. Exploring my body lead me to accept and love it totally.
Exploration is now my game in partner-sex as well. Partner-sex with this focus is much more playful, enjoyable and exciting.
My tip for you: Start practicing “self-love“ on a regular basis. Be creative: do it differently every time. Take your time and in the end allow your body to surrender completely with a deep relaxation throughout your body.
Ok, we cannot live without breathing. Breathing works automatically. Most of the time we breathe very shallow, are in “flight-mode“, like our ancestors, always ready to escape.
For me it was completely new that breathing is responsible for increasing my sexual experience. As I learned about it, I immediately integrated it into my solo-sessions and my partner-sex. What a difference! When I breathed deep into my belly, I felt a much stronger arousal than with normal breathing.
Also speed and breathing-rhythm made a difference. Wow: I was actually able to bring myself into arousal just with breathing!
My tip for you: Watch your breathing in your next self-love session. Take a deep breath into your belly and see what happens while breathing calmly and slowly. Then raise the frequency and watch your body sensations. What happens when you take two short inhales through you nose and then on the third beat you exhale slowly through your mouth?
Next week I will share 3 more secrets that will help you experience a more fulfilled sex life. Until then you might want to practice the first two tips.