Help, I Cannot Get An Orgasm! – Am I Normal?

“I cannot have an orgasm.“ This is what I hear quite often from my clients.

Did you know that 10-15 % of women have never had one? Up to 50 % only occasionally have an orgasm. So, don’t worry if you are belonging to that group. It’s nothing unusual.

When I dig deeper into the conversations with my clients, it’s not uncommon that the client definitely has orgasms, just not during intercourse.

Where does this belief come from that you must reach your climax during intercourse?

My assumption: It’s due to the lack of knowledge and pornography.

If there is sex education at all, they usually don’t teach more than the factual, biological correlations in school. They don’t talk about physical sensations. Also it’s a common conception that sex is self-evident, one just knows how to do it.

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My opinion: One can learn to have good sex.

Generally you get the information from relevant magazines and pornography. Usually made for men…

Pornography usually shows orgasms through intercourse. It’s interesting that up to three fourths of women are not able to come to orgasm exclusively through penetration.

Let’s distinguish between clitoral and vaginal orgasm. Both can be reached with or without a penis, with or without partner.

Most women stimulate their clitoris when they masturbate. And they sometimes reach orgasm. Statistics speak about 85 % of women climaxing though masturbation.

What do you do if a woman wishes to obtain orgasm with her sex partner?

One possibility would be that you stimulate your clitoris from the outside while your partner’s penis pleasures you from the inside. In the case of woman-on-woman, a dildo, vibrator or their hands could provide the secondary stimulation.

It’s beneficial to first try alone what turns you on.

When you find out what turns you on, tell your partner. Because he cannot know if he is not a woman. And even we women sense not all the same.

Generally, women are able to have multiple orgasms. A female orgasm sometimes lasts more than 30 seconds. The male one however is finished after 3-5 seconds.

In every realm of life it needs practice and discipline to become a master. It’s the same with learning sex. If you want to unblock your erotic potential fully, it means: practice, practice, practice…  🙂

Sensual regards,


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